Couples counselling is an important experience for every couple. In a previous post, I shared that some couples choose to attend couples counselling prior to marriage. But there are so many reasons that couples at any stage of their relationship choose to attend therapy. The mistake that most couples make is choosing to come to their first couples’ session when their relationship is in trouble. Making a point to attend couples counselling before this point is a great way to keep your partnership honest, insightful, and healthy. Most people wonder if couples counselling is worth it. Here are 4 reasons why it’s worth it for you.
Communication
One of the foundations of a relationship is communicating in an effective manner. Communication isn’t just about how you deliver your message to your partner, or how it’s heard. It also involves your own clarity regarding what your message is and your intention behind expressing yourself.
A couples’ counsellor will help you to communicate with your partner in an intentional and safe way. Over the years, many communication techniques have been created that are effective in ensuring that your message is clear and that you are able to be heard. Your couples’ counsellor will also work with you on how to actively listen to your partner to ensure that their messages are received correctly and respected and that you are both on the same page.
Good communication will give you and your partner the foundation to move forward in a respectful and effective way both at home and in session.
Recognizing Patterns
It’s not uncommon for couples to tend to argue about the same issue and feel exasperated. In couples counselling, you can get insight into potential blind spots regarding these patterns. This is useful in recognizing what the root of the disagreement is truly, rather than continuing to argue about the symptom. An example of this is if you or your partner has had an affair. Often, the affair becomes the focus of the arguments however, the underlying issues are going to remain present unless they are identified and discussed.
Safety and Tough Topics
Sex is a common theme that emerges in couples counselling. It’s also a topic that is difficult to discuss openly, especially when things aren’t going how one or both of you had hoped it would. Sex is often a topic that both partners think about (especially when facing intimacy issues), and it’s also one of the hardest to get honest with each other about for various reasons. In couples counselling, you will be supported in these discussions.
Money is also an important issue that tends to come up in couples’ sessions. Often, there is a lot of emotion related to this topic and sometimes a blame game emerges, which is not the most beneficial way to have an open discussion. Your couple’s therapist will help you to navigate these topics in a respectful and open way.
Accountability & Self
In your relationship, it’s important to look in the mirror to consider how each of you as an individual is contributing to both the positive aspects of your relationship and the less than remarkable pieces. No one is to take all the credit or all the blame. When you attend couples counselling, come open to taking a deep dive into getting honest with yourself as well as your partner. This not only helps you in your relationship but will likely assist you in other interpersonal relationships and most importantly, your relationship with yourself!
When considering couples counselling, discuss attending with your partner before you feel like you need it to dig you out of the quicksand. If you attend when your relationship is in a healthy state, you will benefit in spades, as you’ll learn helpful tools to help you navigate the little things, which prepare you for the big things.
If your partner has no interest in attending couples counselling, then forcing them is likely not going to be the best or most effective idea. Rather, if you feel that you as a couple need help but your partner is not ready or just downright refuses, you can begin to go alone. Often, individual counselling will assist you with your own personal growth and it’s not uncommon for a partner to see that and decide to give it a go too.
If you’re working through issues in your relationship or you want to ensure that you and your partner are able to maintain what you have because it’s oh so lovely, get in touch with a counsellor that’s right for you!