When our cortisol levels are high our bodies are in a state of fight or flight. Not only does this leave us feeling tense and stressed but it can cause trouble sleeping, memory and cognitive issues, perpetuate anxiety and depression and strips us of the present moment.
Under stress, we are more likely to react negatively and impulsively to our thoughts and emotions instead of staying grounded in the present. This can lead to poor decision making and perpetuate feelings of sadness, resentment and anger.
Setting boundaries has become an important way to manage stress in our daily lives. It helps us stay in tune with our own needs, understand what lines we cannot cross, and help keep stress at bay. Protecting your boundaries allows you to set standards for what we can and cannot tolerate and helps us put practices in place that protect our peace.
Protecting Your Boundaries
If you’re not used to it, setting boundaries can feel uncomfortable at first. It may feel as if you are being rude or unaccommodating. However, knowing and setting hard and fast rules for what you will and will not tolerate will help you understand your own values and believe it or not, reduce stress in the long run. Although asserting your boundaries may feel uncomfortable at that moment it benefits both parties in the long run.
Communicating your boundaries maintain healthy relationships because boundaries are the intersection between loving yourself and someone else at the same time.
After all, not telling someone they have crossed your boundaries only leads to resentment on your end and confusion on theirs. Setting boundaries is indicative of self-respect and also allows you to improve your self-esteem.
Some examples of boundaries can look like this:
Your need for personal time in a relationship
Physical needs like how much water, sleep, and exercise you need
How much social time you need
Knowing when and if you are OK to speak to a loved one or a friend about a personal issue
How long you will stay at an event
Charging what you feel your worth in business or work
Stress is a killer, but not one that we have to accept if we position ourselves in a place of power that supports and respects our own values. This helps us live life on our own terms, build confidence and reduce unnecessary mental stress that we don’t deserve to carry.
What are some other ways to help reduce overwhelm?
Live In the Moment
We live in a world that can be distracting and defragment our thinking. That is why individuals who learn to live in the moment have higher self-esteem, experience less depression and anxiety, have lower blood pressure, and live more empathetic and honestly. It is also said that people who are able to live life without any judgement of the present have helped patients cope with cancer, and chronic illness, and reduce the risk of heart disease. It truly is a powerful tool for living.
Having awareness allows us to live in the present in the important moments of everyday life and actually find joy and satisfaction in those moments, instead of being somewhere else in our minds. It teaches us to stay connected to everything we do, to feel how it feels to take up space in the world and to experience our own lives as it unfolds in front of us.
Life is happening and unfolding in front of us in the here-and-now. It’s not in the mishaps of yesterday or the what-ifs of tomorrow, and if we are too distracted to enjoy and take notice, its passing could be more detrimental than the time we spend worrying.
Oftentimes we are stuck in the what-ifs or could haves of yesterday or too worried about the future to enjoy today. When we’re at work we dream about being on vacation, then when we book a vacation we’re worried about the work piling up at our desks. Staying present allows you to get the job done and control any underlying anxiety, ultimately increasing productivity.
Awareness of living in the moment happens when we learn that we are not our thoughts and that we can be in a moment, have a thought, but not have an emotional reaction to that thought.
Once we learn to let our thoughts simply pass, we can go about living our lives having and experiencing more memorable moments. Anchoring awareness in the here and now also helps reduce the impulsivity and reactivity that underlie overwhelming thoughts.
Set a healthy promise to yourself to always try to stay in the present moment. Let go of the way you think things should be and lose time in the way things are. Savour what you’re doing, whether that is eating a meal, having a conversation with a friend, or walking to the bus. Make every moment special, lose track of time, do things that scare you without the fear of being bad at them, and accept the way things are in the present moment without creating suffering around them.
Make a promise to yourself that when you find yourself getting caught up in your thoughts of the future or past, you will learn to sit with them, observe them and continue living your life, savouring each moment, getting lost in time and finding beauty in the here and now.
Learning to do this reduces stress, calms the nervous system, ultimately makes you more productive and helps you find more joy in living.
Deep Breathing or Ground Yourself
Allow yourself a few moments in the morning to take some mindful, deep breaths so that your day doesn’t begin in panic mode.
Breathing signals a sense of safety to the parasympathetic nervous system, which allows your body to relax. Using diaphragmatic breathing helps rebalance the body and forces oxygen to the brain. This helps lower cortisol levels and control our fight-or-flight response.
It’s also a good technique to help maintain natural stress levels. Practitioners use diaphragmatic breathing to destress and help regulate anxiety.
54321 is also a great grounding exercise to help you manage panic attacks and anxiety. The first step is to look around the room and name 5 things you can see around you. Next, focus on four things you can feel. Name 3 things you hear around you. Then, notice two things you can smell around you and lastly, focus on one thing you can taste. This helps spark your senses and brings you back into your body.
If breathing is uncomfortable for you, then sit down and feel your feet grounded on the floor. Notice any smells, what you can see, and hear, truly taking that moment to be present.
Avoid Cortisol Inducing Foods
You might be asking yourself “how can I lower my cortisol levels?” Believe it or not, controlling your cortisol levels is a lifestyle change in every department. If you want to get serious about managing stress, there are things you can avoid to help reduce the uncomfortable physical and emotional symptoms.
Diet and exercise also play a huge role in how your body processes and responds to stress. This doesn’t have to happen overnight but reducing some of these items in your diet and focusing on eating more vegetables, fruits, lean proteins and healthy fats can help boost your mood and improve self-esteem. Mindful eating is also a powerful tool to allow for improved digestion which helps us to feel better.
To help your body manage stress try to avoid caffeine, excessive amounts of sugars, alcohol, and processed foods. You can have any of these foods but in moderation of course.
Prioritize Your Day
Having a long list of tasks to complete may feel overwhelming, after all, our lists can be as long as we make them and there always seems like there’s something new to add. During a time when you feel overwhelmed, doing one thing at a time means that you’ll do it well and with intention. Consider the urgency of each item on your to-do list then focus on completing the most urgent ones first. This can minimize stress and keep you productive with your daily tasks.
Direct your Focus
We live in a world that loves to distract us. There is temptation everywhere to stray from what is right in front of us to scroll on social media, shop online, or respond to an email. These added distractions actually add tension to our day and cause us to feel more overwhelmed. Instead of getting lost in your phone, try storing it away while you work or try to complete a task.
Give yourself a solid chunk of time to complete what you’re doing with no distractions and commit to sitting down and completing it. The Pomodoro technique is a great way to use the time to your advantage. Break your day up into 25-minute productivity chunks followed by 5-minute breaks. These 25-minute intervals are referred to as Pomodoro and after about 5 of them, take longer breaks. This technique helps you focus your energy on what’s in front of you and prevents you from wasting time.
This will ultimately help tick off your to-do list much quicker, make you feel more productive, and help you build a schedule, which in turn helps you feel less stressed.
Aside from our phones, another thing we tend to get lost in is our thoughts. When overwhelmed, many people begin to worry about things that are beyond their control.
Feeling like you are in a time crunch and dwelling on or catastrophising about issues that are out of your control only causes added stress that you can’t really do anything about. It helps to focus on one thing at a time and not waste time doing a half-job on task A only to have to go back and do it over again. There is nothing more frustrating than making small mistakes because your mind is not focused on the task at hand. Do it once and do it right the first time.
This applies to interpersonal issues too. Give all your attention to a person you are working with or working something out with. Nodding along and then having the same issue come up the next day is a waste of your time and theirs!
Find Your Support Network
Emotional support is a key factor in dealing with life’s difficulties. Loneliness has been associated with a number of health problems, including cardiovascular disease, high blood pressure, diminished immunity and cognitive decline. Having and being able to lean on someone else during difficult times or when making difficult decisions can help you take some stress off of the issue and gain perspective. People who have emotional support networks feel less stress and are able to feel more secure making decisions on their own.
This doesn’t require you to have a massive network of family and friends. Engaging with a handful of supporters that you feel comfortable turning to in times of stress is important. This can be a friend, co-worker, family member or neighbour.
Talking to your support network is important for gaining perspective or just having an outlet to process what’s going on for you. Usually talking about it is very useful in helping you feel lighter and make better decisions.
Trust Yourself
It may sound simple and obvious but trust yourself to be able to get through it! Sometimes we lose confidence in ourselves after we make a mistake or someone overly criticises us, however trusting ourselves will actually help us build confidence, and help other people also trust us. If you feel like you’re having difficulties making decisions or feel stuck after making a mistake, be decisive and make decisions anyways. The best way to get through life is to learn as you go, and if you stop making moves, you won’t move forward.
Trusting yourself is a sure-fire way to continue building self-esteem and make the process of decision making much easier. Look inward and remind yourself that your good qualities deserve attention too.
Final Thoughts
We cannot avoid stress in our lives but there are ways we can manage ourselves so that we remove unnecessary stress. This means setting healthy personal boundaries, accepting what is within reason, and learning to be in the present moment without fear or judgement. Teaching ourselves empathy and self-compassion could be the greatest gift we can give to ourselves. It will free us from expectation, allow us to accept ourselves exactly as we are, and help us to move forward without judgement. With a few helpful tools, we can lower cortisol levels so that we are better able to manage stress.
Here at Sana Counselling, we want to help you show up in the world as the best version of yourself. If you need help managing stress in your day-to-day life or coping techniques to manage depression and anxiety, get in touch today. Sana specializes in anxiety therapy in Vancouver. There is a counsellor on the other end waiting to help.
