Opening up to a stranger can be difficult, especially if it’s about a sensitive subject. While it does get easier over time, it’s important to remember that your therapist is there to support you. They will often ask the opening question and guide you through your session with gentle questions and reminders. That being said, as the weeks pass sometimes it can be hard to find topics to discuss. Instead of ending your therapy sessions, this is a great time to dig a little deeper.
Here are a few way to do just that:
Be present with your feelings
Even though a lot may have happened throughout your week, start by how you are feeling right now. Be honest with yourself and your therapist and talk about what is happening for you in the present moment, even if it is something like “I would rather be sleeping/working/exercising than at therapy right now”.
Sometimes, what’s right in front of you, may be what you most need to talk about. Sana Counselling incorporates humanistic therapy techniques, opening up the floor for clients to openly share their thoughts.
2. Journal between sessions
Journaling can really help you dig a little deeper and provide a great starting point for your sessions. It can help you gain a deeper sense of clarity and understanding. It is also a great way to track your own thoughts and behavioural patterns.
Bring your journal to your next session and go through it with your therapist. This can help address or acknowledge patterns in your own thoughts and behaviours. Sometimes it’s easier to see ourselves in hindsight than it is when we are caught up in the moment.
3. Consider interpersonal relationships
Relationships play an important role in your mental health and how you feel on a daily basis. This includes all relationships, not just the romantic ones - your boss, parents, siblings, friends all affect the quality of your emotions.
What is happening in your relationships? Are you speaking less to your friends than usual? Do you feel supported by your family? Do you have the same problems in friendships? Do you feel like you have a support system outside of your therapist? These are all questions worth exploring and can lead you to the root cause of how your relationships affect your life.
4. Big changes or life shifts
Big life changes like getting married, having a baby, changing jobs, a breakup or moving can trigger our emotions.
Even if the life change is good, it can still bring up a mix of feelings that are important to unpack. Don’t be afraid to bring up new changes that are currently happening or on the horizon. Therapy sessions should be safe spaces to share your feels and speak freely.
If you’ve never been to counselling here are a few things you can expect.
5. Things you are avoiding
We all judge our thoughts and censor our feelings – into “should and shouldn’t be thinking and feeling” categories. Know that it is OKAY to be feeling whatever you are feeling and it is even more OKAY to talk about it in therapy. Nothing is ever too big or too small to bring up in therapy and feelings do not have expiry dates.
Sometimes we don’t even know that we’re avoiding our feelings, so it’s best to be open to whatever comes up emotionally and to the suggestions your therapist might be making.Consider your sessions a safe place to speak about what you’ve been avoiding, or what you find difficult to discuss.
6. Nothing is off limits
We have a lot of ideas of what therapy should or shouldn’t be. It is true that some people come to therapy to deal with issues like depression, PTSD, and anxiety, but this isn’t always the case. In the end, therapy is really about getting to know yourself better – therefore, no topic is considered off limits.
Final Thoughts
If you have a hard time with therapy because you don’t know what to say, remember your therapist is there to help you. Therapy should be a safe place to explore and get to know yourself and your values better. The more questions you can ask yourself, the more understanding you will gain about your own values, goals, and well being.
If you are stuck for topics to discuss in therapy, bookmark this page and save this list for your next session!
