Communication is key. This is a statement many of us know to be true. It is a key component in sustaining healthy relationships with our loved ones. However, the impact of trauma on communication can be negative when someone experiences a traumatic event.
Trust
Similar to communication, trust is also important in our relationships particularly with ourselves. But trauma can also affect an individual’s ability to trust other people. As a result, communicating with others becomes increasingly difficult for trauma survivors because they are protecting themselves from being hurt again. As well, they feel like danger lurks around the corner at all times. This is a common response for individuals who have survived traumatic experiences.
Unfortunately, trauma survivors can lash out and hurt the people closest to them. The reason being that they do not believe anyone is worthy of trust and this causes them to react to triggers in unproductive and aggressive ways. Often, the survivor feels shame for their behaviour, making communication even more difficult.
Communication
Often, survivors of trauma have difficulty not only expressing themselves but listening and comprehending what is being said to them. It’s not uncommon for survivors who are hyperaware of their surroundings to lose focus and disassociate from the present. After a traumatic experience, a survivor’s level of concentration is lower than it was prior to the trauma. This is why many survivors have trouble absorbing information which can make having longer and intellectual conversations a challenge. This may result in avoidance of discussing how they feel because just talking about what happened to them can be emotionally draining because they feel re-traumatized. Some survivors do not want to share in fear of not being believed or understood so they choose to hold onto their traumatic experiences to avoid not being taken seriously. This fear of rejection or judgement silences them. Many people are not trained to talk to survivors of trauma so it’s important to know not to belittle, dismiss, or ask questions about what happened. It’s important that the person sharing their trauma with you is believed by you and that you validate their emotions.
Building Trust
Survivors of trauma often feel emotionally numb which can make it harder for them to be emotionally available for their loved ones. This means they may not be able to show excitement or happiness. It also means they have difficulty asking for and accepting support from the same people. The reason for this detachment from their loved ones is because they are hypervigilant and when they are in this state anything can trigger them and set them into a negative reaction such as being touched and loud noises. This can cause them to withdraw from that specific relationship because their brain associates that person as being unsafe for them to be around or interact with. But this withdrawal makes the other person feel rejected resulting in slowly falling out of touch with each other.
But this reaction and trigger experience does not have to last long term. You can work through your trauma with a trained professional and learn techniques to manage your reactions to triggers. If you do have a friend who is dealing with trauma, give them the space they need but check in on them, listen and validate their emotions. The process for healing is not linear and at times can be slow and frustrating. Patience is key however, you do not need to be their entire emotional support system. Just knowing that they can come to you is important. Referring them to a professional should ultimately be the end goal but they need someone they trust to help encourage them to get to the point of seeking help from a professional. While this might be a challenge because they have to open up to a stranger, it’ll be a step in the right direction for them. Feel free to reach out to discuss options or book a free consultation at Sana Counselling.