Trigger Warning: This blog contains conversations surrounding sexual assault which can be triggering for some.
Sexual violence is a pervasive issue on a global and national scale. Sexual violence and harassment influences all demographics regardless of gender, race, sexuality, and size. 1 in 3 Canadian women and 1 in 8 Canadian men will experience sexual violence. Many individuals equate sexual violence to rape however, the term also includes voyeurism, stalking, indecent public exposure, sexual harassment, incest, childhood sexual abuse, trafficking, sexual exploitation, and rape during conflict. Sexual violence can leave its survivors traumatized.
Trauma occurs when one’s ability to cope is overwhelmed. When the trauma is over, there are often deep emotional responses to what has happened, as well as physical, or somatic, symptoms. Some individuals feel a deep sense of shame and/or anger. Anger is a normal, healthy emotion to experience when a boundary is violated. You can recover from this experience and regain your sense of self and power. Here’s what to do if you are suffering from trauma after sexual violence:
Speak to Someone You Trust
You do not have to experience the aftermath of sexual assault on your own and you have options.
Some individuals prefer to choose someone close and kind to speak to about how they are coping, while others prefer to keep their experience more private. Whatever your preference, sharing your experience can be helpful in feeling less isolated. Many organizations offer services like crisis lines and group meetings. A suggestion is to speak about the event’s impacts on you and your feelings now. Try to avoid speaking directly about the details of the experience, as this can be re-traumatizing and not helpful in the long term.
Process Through Feelings of Guilt and Shame
These feelings are often the most intense after someone has experienced a sexual assault. You can bring these feelings to a friend, support group, a therapist, or simply your journal. By acknowledging these emotions, you can work through them instead of carrying them with you into the future.
The most common feelings centre around “having known better” or blaming oneself for the experience in several different ways. Several common records play in a person’s head and it’s common for the survivor to assign themselves blame. This experience was not your fault.
Reconnect to your body: yoga, dance, meditation
With some forms of sexual assault, the survivor tends to disconnect from their body. During a sexual assault, this is important for your survival and coping. Afterwards, however, it can be very disorienting to feel numb or afraid of the body and one’s sensation.
Any form of movement or becoming more aware of your body through a form of meditation that includes your body can be very helpful for grounding, or centring purposes. Feeling your body allows you to come back to yourself and find a more rooted sense of presence. Consider something that feels right for you, like yoga or dance. Let your healing have a playfulness element to it. Movement helps many women and men reignite their inner light.
Counselling & Psychotherapy
Often, some residual aspects of sexual violence can leave people feeling disoriented within themselves and their experience of being in the world. Post-traumatic stress can show up and be very fragmenting for survivors of sexual violence. Finding a counsellor or psychotherapist who focuses on trauma and healing is very helpful for meeting yourself where you are on the healing journey and process your emotional, mental and physical trauma or residual stress that resulted from sexual violence. Many trauma counsellors also work somatically to help you get back into your physical experience.
Reaching out for trauma counselling can feel scary for some and relieving for others. You are not alone in your experience. Therapists are here to walk alongside you in your healing experience. If you or someone you know is experiencing sexual trauma and are looking for help, let’s get in touch to see how Sana Counselling can help you.