At some point or another, we will all lose something we care about. For some, those emotions are more difficult to let go of, however, when grief becomes a part of your day-to-day life, you may find yourself harboring resentment, or carrying anger about a loss that you just can’t get over.
Grief happens to us when we lose someone or something close to us and it has the power to turn our worlds upside down.
Grief acts as a shock to the system, it breaks our routines, and distorts our realities. We may even find it hard to return to everyday life.
Whether it’s an individual, a relationship, a job, or even a home, losing something we care deeply about can affect us all in different ways and will show up in a variety of symptoms.
It can be difficult to work through feelings of anger, resentment and hurt, and find light on the other side, however, grief is a normal part of the human experience.
Grief counselling can help support individuals who are going through the symptoms of loss, and bereavement for those lives who have been flipped upside down by grief.
What is Grief?
You may have heard about the 8 Stages of Grief , a commonly used theory between practitioners and counsellors to identify the various feelings associated with grief.
Although this was popularly practiced a few years ago, today we understand that grief is never that straightforward. While it’s normal for some individuals to experience grief in stages, others do not have this experience at all, and that is normal too.
The emotions around grief come and go and for some in no predictable order.
Whatever it is that you are feeling, it’s best to remember that there is no right or wrong way to experience grief and let go of the idea that you “should” be experiencing this in a specific way.
Let go of self-judgment and give yourself the space to feel okay with whatever stage of grief you are in.
How Can Grief Counselling Help?
Through grief counselling, you will learn to cope through the grieving process by discussing the way you feel and your thoughts around the event.
It’s important to identify what you’re thinking and how that is affecting your emotions. There are several things you can bring to counselling that will help you benefit from the process:
Express Your Emotions
It may be difficult to discuss your feelings and it might feel surreal that the event has happened to begin with but becoming comfortable with talking about your feelings is an important step in processing your emotions.
In counselling, you may be asked questions about the loss and be encouraged to speak as if they were listening to help you gain closure.
It’s important to be aware that this process will directly address your grief, who you lost, and things that may have been left unsaid.
Be Open to the Process
The goal of grief counselling is to support you in accepting the outcome and moving forward with your loss, towards a new life, firmly grounded in yourself. Shedding feelings of anger, resentment, sadness, and guilt.
The process is rooted in strengthening your relationship with grief by gaining a new perspective about your loss.
Memories last a lifetime but opening yourself to discussing the past and how it’s affecting your present can help free you from past trauma and pave the way for a more rewarding and fulfilling future.
Gain a New Perspective
Losing someone or something so close to you could present questions about who you are without them or cause fear around your new lifestyle.
As humans, many of us define ourselves through our relationships, our things, and our careers. Counselling will give you the space to identify how you define yourself, and put to rest any lingering regret you may have about what you’ve said or how you’ve acted in the past.
Many choose to focus on existing relationships, volunteering, or getting in touch with things that make them happy such as painting or writing.
What Are Some Coping Strategies?
People cope with grief and loss in their own ways however some strategies we have seen our own clients use are:
Speaking with close friends and families about their emotions
Accepting practical help with things like child care, meals and cooking, and household tasks
Mild to vigorous forms of exercising either individually or with a group
Memorial services, funerals, ceremonies, celebrations of life
Retirement parties
Divorce parties
Relaxing music playlists
Meditation or informal prayer practices
Hiking, walking or grounding yourself in nature
Attending a place of worship or other religious ceremonies
Talking with a spiritual healer, shawman, priest, rabbi, imam etc.
Listening to self help podcasts or reading self help books
Writing a letter to the lost individual
Creating art, poetry, drawings, or painting
Starting and finishing a home renovation project
Making model ships, airplane or trains
Making and sticking to a routine
Abandoning a routine and doing something spontaneous
Cooking and baking new recipes
Aromatherapy, massage, and facials either at home or at the spa
Anything else self-care related
Final Thoughts
Grief counselling is subjective in its nature and there is an understanding that this type of counselling is fluid in terms of time. To move forward, you and your counsellor will focus on managing your anger, sadness,guilt, and other emotions that might be hindering your progression through life.
Managing these emotions varies from person to person meaning the length of time in counselling will vary depending on your needs. Still, we encourage you to also do the work outside of your sessions.
Grief is not something that fades away overnight – it’s a complex process that involves work both inside your sessions and outside.
Working with a professional in a warm, welcoming, and safe setting can help aid this process by providing you with important tools and insight for managing grief and moving forward into a brighter future.
If you are ready to begin healing after suffering grief or loss, get in touch today for a free consultation, Sana Counselling offers in-person and online counselling for anxiety, relationships, trauma and more.