It’s no secret that COVID-19 has affected all our relationships. In a previous post, I discussed small things you and your partner can do to build a more healthy way of communicating. But all relationships are unique and each one has their issues. If you and your partner are having problems, it’s better to seek help before you get into a “make it or break it” situation. The sooner you seek couples counselling to address your issues, the more effective your sessions are likely to be.
There are many counsellors that specialize in couples counselling and finding the one that best suits you and your partner’s needs is important.
Here are some common reasons that people seek couples counselling:
Working on communication styles
Working through anger or resentments based on previous or present behaviours
When noticing that childhood issues are creeping into the relationship
For premarital counselling
Working toward blending families
Working through infidelity
Working through intimacy or sexual issues
To sort out how to end a relationship
Is Couples Counselling Worth It?
This depends on what you’re looking to accomplish through couples counselling. Typically, a couples’ counsellor can help each person in the relationship gain insight into their own behaviours. The counsellor will also help you learn more about your partner, which can help with patience and communicative styles improving the way you interact with one another.
Couples counselling is worth it if you come in willing to do the work in and outside of the sessions. The counsellor will offer you tools to use in your daily interactions. You will also do different exercises together in session. For these exercises and tools to be effective in your relationship, you both must practice using them at home.
Couples counselling can also be surprising for individuals, as there is a lot of self-reflection that happens in the process. You will learn effective tools for relationships, and a bonus is that you’ll discover more about yourself, your style of communicating, showing love, receiving love, and much more. You will also gain insight about your own beliefs in a relationship, which can inform expectations you may have of your partner.
Can Couples Therapy Work?
The best time to attend couples counselling is prior to feeling so frustrated that you are in the headspace of wanting to end the relationship. Essentially, you want to show up before one or both of you have mentally and emotionally checked out. When you are still invested in your relationship and your partner, you will put more effort into implementing what you learn in session outside of therapy, which will further your progress and the health of your relationship.
Several studies have highlighted that couples counselling is effective for couples who are struggling. A huge aspect of relationships is how a rupture is repaired. In other words, there will be disagreements and some issues that arise in relationships…that’s a given. However, the skill set that the couple has obtained to mend, or repair the issue is one of the most important aspects of staying happy in a relationship. For some, this can take a while to get the hang of due to previous life experiences and it is a very important reason as to why couples therapy works.
There are many other reasons why counselling can work. Some couples have an easier time than others due to several different circumstances. Factors that make couples therapy more difficult include substance abuse or addictive behaviours, or a couple who comes in with one partner set on ending the relationship.
If you are both willing to show up for the session physically and mentally/emotionally, it’s worth a shot to save a relationship you’ve already invested so much in and if you and your partner are both interested and willing to do the work, it can be an incredible experience for both parties.
If you want to sustain and maintain the healthy and loving relationships that you deserve, I serve couples of all ethnicities and sexual orientations that are experiencing problematic patterns and unhealthy coping skills. Learn more about my relationship counselling services and get in touch for a free consultation either online or in person relationship counselling in Vancouver.